back to the sea
by JasonGraceless
Summary: A trio of angsty, Annabeth-centric one-shots based on song lyrics. Completed.
1. Last Kiss

**SONG: **Last Kiss by Taylor Swift

**SUMMARY: **It's the middle of the night. The Argo II is on their way to Rome, and Annabeth is in her cabin, remembering the painful nights when Percy was missing and wondering if there will be painful nights to come after she sees him again.

**SETTING:** Post-SoN, Pre-MoA

* * *

Every night on the Argo II's way to Rome, Annabeth couldn't sleep.

It wasn't that her cabin wasn't comfortable— her comforter and pillows were plush and filled with pegasus down, the temperature automatically adjusted to her liking, and everything smelled fresh and clean, like pine tree air freshener.

That was the problem. The smell. It was pleasant, but Annabeth just couldn't sleep.

Pine trees reminded her of Thalia. She didn't mind that, but she didn't want Thalia at the moment.

She wanted Percy.

* * *

_I still remember the look on your face_  
_Lit through the darkness at 1:58_  
_The words that you whispered_  
_For just us to know_  
_You told me you loved me_  
_So why did you go away?_  
_Away_

* * *

She remembered, back at Camp Half-Blood, after Percy had gone missing, she had taken to wearing his clothes to bed. They were the only thing that comforted her, they smelled like him.

But then, as she wore them out, the smell of her perfume and shampoo infiltrated it and left them smelling like her. Almost every night, she began to have nightmares. About spiders. This was the first time she had had them since she had began dating Percy.

* * *

_But now I'll go sit on the floor_  
_Wearing your clothes_  
_All that I know is_  
_I don't know how to be something you miss_  
_I never thought we'd have a last kiss_  
_Never imagined we'd end like this_  
_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

* * *

She had desperately tried soaking her clothes in seawater, but it didn't work. She began to skip classes to spend all her time at a secluded corner of the beach, crying alone. Everyone had looked for her. No one had found her. If Percy had been there, he would have known exactly where to find her.

They had, ahem, _visited_ that little corner so many times. But that had just made her feel more homesick for Percy.

She only showed up at mealtimes, and even then, she ate next to nothing. She had lost twenty pounds.

She had begun making a weekly trip to Sally's apartment, but that still wasn't enough. She and Sally cried together, but that didn't help.

So, one night, as Annabeth had laid wide awake in her bunk, tears streaming down her face, she had decided she couldn't take it anymore. She had gotten up, lit a candle, and crept out the door of the Athena cabin. It had been the dead of night, and nothing was to be heard for miles besides the snoring of the Hypnos cabin. Percy had been gone, or else she would have heard him snoring too.

She had crept to the door of Cabin Three and creaked open the door, and had begun to cough as dust swirled. The inside of Cabin Three had looked frightening, her shadow casting on the floor and the flame of her candle causing strange, dancing lights to appear on the rough stone walls. This cabin had used to look silly and plain to her, but right then and there, it was terrifying. The broken fountain in the corner, with a steady drip of water coming from it is casting a terrible shadow, ten times bigger than it is in reality, looming over Annabeth's shadow, was looking like a huge monster about to pounce.

It was like a reminder that children of Athena were not welcome here. It was like a reminder of her mother and Percy's father's rivalry. She had been foolish to think that anything would change between the two of them after she and Percy had kissed.

* * *

_I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets_  
_How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something_  
_There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions_

* * *

Her ragged breathing, her head spinning, her stomach in knots, this had been all too much to take. She had dropped her candle, with promptly sputtered indignantly and died out, and staggered over to Percy's bed. It was cold and dusty, but it smelled like him, so she had ignored everything and pulled the covers up to her chin, shivering.

Everything had felt wrong without Percy next to her, his warmth radiating to her as he hugged her, his strong arms wrapping around her and stroking her hair as she curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

_The beat of your heart_  
_It jumps through your shirt_  
_I can still feel your arms_

* * *

And as Annabeth lay in her real bunk on the Argo II, crying as she remembered that painful night, crying as she remembered every memory she had of Percy, crying as she thought that he might not still have the same memories of her, she let go.

* * *

_So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep_  
_And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe_  
_And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are_  
_Hope it's nice where you are_

* * *

And she prayed.

She prayed to Athena and Poseidon, Zeus and Hera, Hades and Persephone, Demeter and Dionysus, Apollo and Artemis, Ares and Aphrodite, Hephaestus and Hermes, Nemesis and Hestia, and all the other gods she knew.

She wanted her Seaweed Brain back.

She wanted him back now.

No amount of breathing in or breathing out or clearing her mind or counting to a thousand could help her now.

She hated it, but all she could do was continue to Rome.

* * *

_Just like our last kiss_  
_Forever the name on my lips_  
_Forever the name on my lips_

_Just like our last..._


	2. State of Grace

******SONG: **State of Grace by Taylor Swift

**SUMMARY: **It's the night of the annual fourth of July fireworks at Camp Half-Blood, and Annabeth is alone in her cabin while everyone else is celebrating, lonely. Then Percy comes to find her.

**SETTING: **Set near the end of BoTL, after Luke has become Kronos and Annabeth and Percy began to skirt around each other and stop talking to each other.

* * *

Annabeth was lonely.

She sat on her bed in the empty Athena cabin. Everyone else was at the fourth of July fireworks. Annabeth hadn't felt like going, even though it was the biggest event of the summer. The biggest _dating_ event, to be exact… There had been a time when she had been thinking about asking Percy to go with her, before… well, this whole Luke-as-Kronos mess had happened.

Annabeth couldn't deny the fact that she still wanted Percy— her stomach churned and her heart thumped every time he glanced at her, but then her heart fell into her stomach every time he glanced away.

They hadn't talked for a while now. It wasn't his fault. Annabeth had begun to shut him out after Kronos had risen. She had needed some time alone. She knew Percy wanted to talk about Kronos, but she didn't think she could handle it without bursting into tears. She still had feelings for Luke— she just didn't know what they were.

But now too long had passed, and every day, Annabeth tried to summon the courage to talk to Percy again, and every day, she shrank back. Every day, it became too late to apologize for shutting him out.

* * *

_I'm walking fast through the traffic lights_  
_Busy streets and busy lives_  
_And all we know_  
_Is touch and go_  
_We are alone with our changing minds_  
_We fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time_

* * *

It hurt, having to ignore him. She could see that hurt reflected in his eyes, too. She didn't want this to happen. She didn't want them to grow apart. She was scared that one day, their silence would just be going on for too long, and Percy would give up hope of ever talking to her normally again and ask someone else out. Like Rachel.

But it hurt every time she tried to talk to him, too. It hurt when she looked into those gorgeous eyes that she had fallen in love with. She was reminded of the other boy she had once loved. Who was too far gone to save. Who she had lost to a fate worse than death.

It hurt when she was with Percy, and it hurt when she wasn't. She wished none of this had happened— who knows, maybe she and Percy would have been better than friends by now? She had let weeks pass by with nothing but small talk.

By now, she just wished she could be with him. To hell with Luke. She could worry about him, but the idea of losing Percy, too was… unbearable.

* * *

_And I never (never) saw you coming_  
_And I'll never (never) be the same_

_You come around and the armor falls  
Pierce the room like a cannonball  
Now all we know is don't let go_

* * *

She felt tears burn the corners of her eyes. She had never been one to think about suicide— demigods usually had limited time anyway, so no demigods usually thought about. But as she sat there crying, with no one left, she wondered if she had really lost the will to live. It was obvious Percy didn't like her anymore, if he ever had.

Then someone knocked twice and kicked the door once, and she stifled a gasp. That was the special way she and Percy had used to knock on each other's cabins when they needed to talk in private.

But— it couldn't be him. Everyone was still back at the fireworks. He would never miss that, especially not to break the silence between the two of them. Or would he?

She hastily wiped away her tears and picked up a crossword puzzle and a pencil, pretending she was doing it all along.

"Come in," she said, barely audible.

The door creaked open, and there were those eyes again, those gorgeous sea green eyes that could melt her heart with a glance. But this time they were hesitant.

* * *

_And I've loved in shades of wrong_  
_We learn to live with the pain_  
_Mosaic broken hearts_  
_But this love is brave and wild_

* * *

"Annabeth? I- I was wondering where you were. Uh, are you busy?"

He glanced at her puzzle, which was completely blank, and back at her face. His expression changed, and he looked sad, like he knew exactly what she had been thinking, and that maybe he had been thinking the same time.

She suddenly realized that her eyes were probably red and her skin was probably blotchy. _Vlacas_, she thought. He knew she'd been crying. She should have washed her face or something.

"Um, no. You can come in."

Percy made his way in and cautiously sat on the edge of the bunk that was across from Annabeth's.

"Annabeth… We're best friends, but we barely talk now. I- I didn't realize why you were so upset about Kronos until a couple days ago. I really missed you. And when you didn't show up today… I was scared you did something… stupid…" His voice caught on _best friends_.

Annabeth felt a spark of hope fizz in her stomach. Maybe he did like her a little bit.

She smiled a little. "Me, do something stupid? You wish, Seaweed Brain."

But he had been right on. She wondered if he really knew her that well.

Percy looked like he didn't believe her (this boy really did know her well), but he must have decided to let it drop, because he smiled a little. The sarcastic, troublemaker smile that leaned a little bit more to the left than the right, the one that showed the hint of a dimple and his perfect teeth. Gods, he was _cute_.

"I've missed you too," Annabeth whispered, before she could stop herself.

* * *

_This is a state of grace_  
_This is the worthwhile fight_  
_Love is a ruthless game_  
_Unless you play it good and right_  
_These are the hands of fate_  
_You're my Achilles heel_  
_This is the golden age of something good and right and real_

* * *

Percy's smile was replaced by a more serious expression. He held out his hand.

"Best friends again?"

Annabeth shook it.

"Best friends."

She wanted so much more than to just be his best friend, but this was a good start. Maybe this was a good day after all.

Percy got up and shuffled his feet. "Then… I guess I'm going back, now that we're cool again. You coming?"

He looked a little hopeful, and Annabeth felt her heart melt again, as easily as the box of crayons she had left out in the sun by accident when she had been four had melted.

Looking into those eyes, she automatically opened her mouth to say yes. But then she stopped herself. She was tired. She had cried to sleep every night, and now that one weight had been lifted off her shoulders, all she wanted was rest.

"I'm sorry, Percy, I'm really tired. I'll just finish this and go to bed." She pointed awkwardly to her puzzle. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

Percy hesitated at the door. "Um, okay. I guess I'll just go to bed too, I'm tired. Good night."

He began to walk out, but Annabeth realized she didn't want him to leave. Not yet.

"Wait!"

He turned around, smiling a little. "Yeah?"

"Um… I need help."

She glanced down at her puzzle. "What's an eight letter word for perfect in character, beauty and skill?"

She already knew the answer was 'flawless', but she wanted him to stay. So badly.

He thought for a minute, then counted on his fingers before deciding, "Annabeth."

Then he turned around and walked through the door, closing it and leaving behind a heartbroken Annabeth, clutching her puzzle and gaping at the shut door as she heard the sound of his footsteps, slowly fading away.

* * *

_And I never (never) saw you coming_  
_And I'll never (never) be the same_

_This is a state of grace_  
_This is the worthwhile fight_  
_Love is a ruthless game_  
_Unless you play it good and right_


	3. Honeymoon Avenue

**SONG: **Honeymoon Avenue by Ariana Grande

**SUMMARY: **Annabeth and Percy are falling into Tartarus, and Annabeth knows it's her fault.

**SETTING: **After Annabeth and Percy fall into Tartarus at the end of MoA

* * *

The fall to Tartarus was endless. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days, filled with sunlight that Annabeth couldn't see. se couldn't see anything. She was falling through excruciatingly painful darkness, holding Percy and falling, falling, falling, falling.

_A one-way trip. A very hard fall._

Memories flashed by. She remembered the first time he had seen a pit to Tartarus, when she had been twelve.

* * *

_I looked in my rear view mirror and_  
_It seemed to make a lot more sense_  
_Than what I see ahead of us, ahead of us, yeah._

* * *

She sobbed into Percy's chest. It was so unfair. She had retrieved the statue. What more did the gods want?

_An oath to keep with a final breath._

It was all her fault. All her fault that Percy was falling with her. Percy had done nothing to deserve this.

She had made him do this. She had made him promise he would never leave her again. So he had gone into Tartarus with her.

And now they would both die.

* * *

_I'm ready to make that turn_  
_Before we both crash and burn_  
_Cause that could be the death of us, the death of us, baby_

* * *

He didn't deserve this.

He deserved so much better than Annabeth.

She tried not to cry.

She had tried to apologize so many times, tried to tell him that he was too good for her, but he couldn't hear over the rushing noise of the vacuum that was pulling them in deeper.

She couldn't hear her own scream of anger with herself.

She had pulled the one person she truly loved to an undeserved fate of death. He knew nothing but loyalty. He hadn't let go of her.

* * *

_You know how to drive in rain_  
_And you decided not to make a change_  
_Stuck in the same old lane_  
_Going the wrong way home_

* * *

She wished herself the most painful death she could imagine, cursing herself countless times, knowing she deserved a fate worse than death. She screamed and sobbed to the gods, wishing they would take Percy to a living Elysium.

He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve Tartarus. He didn't deserve having to fight the war against Gaea. Annabeth wished that he had chosen immortality so he wouldn't have to go through this pain, most of it being inflicted by Annabeth.

Even the war against Gaea would have probably been paradise for him compared to having to stay with Annabeth in Tartarus.

* * *

_I feel like my heart is stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic,_  
_I'm under pressure_  
_Cause I can't have you the way that I want_  
_Let's just go back to the way it was_

* * *

He would have been the most powerful demigod there. They needed him. Now she had probably sealed her friends' fate, too. They would die without Percy. He was their strongest force.

He had done so much for her, made sure that she never had to be alone, and this was how she had treated him. He had given up everything for her, and she had consumed his heart.

* * *

_When we were on Honeymoon Avenue_  
_Honeymoon Avenue_  
_Baby, coastin' like crazy_  
_Can we get back to the way it was?_

* * *

She thought back to every eyelash and dandelion she had ever made a wish on. Every one was a wish wasted. She wanted to go back and give Percy a million blessings on every one of them.

* * *

_Hey, what happened to the butterflies?_  
_Guess they encountered that stop sign_  
_And my heart is at a yellow light, a yellow light_  
_Hey, right when I think that we found it,_  
_Well, that's when we start turning around_  
_You're saying, "Baby, don't worry,"_  
_But we're still going the wrong way, baby_

* * *

She wished that she could go back in time to when they were twelve, and make sure he didn't fall in love with her. She had torn him apart.

* * *

_I feel like my heart is stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic,_  
_I'm under pressure_  
_Cause I can't have you the way that I want_  
_Let's just go back to the way it was_

* * *

She wasn't worthy of him. She wasn't worthy of the Fields of Punishment.

As she cried an endless wave of tears, more saltwater than even Percy would control, she wished most of all that they could go back to the way they had been for a few short months, happy and together.

She knew Percy was determined to close the Doors of Death and go home.

* * *

_They say only fools fall in love_  
_Well, they must've been talking about us_  
_And sometimes I feel like I've been here before_  
_I could be wrong, but I know I'm right_  
_We gon' be lost if we continue to fight_  
_Honey I know, yeah,_  
_We can find our way home_

* * *

It was beginning to sound more and more impossible.

All she wanted was to go back to the way they had been.

_Let me die_, she thought. _Let Percy go home_.

* * *

_I feel like my heart is stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic,  
I'm under pressure  
Cause I can't have you the way that I want  
Let's just go back to the way it was_

___When we were on Honeymoon Avenue_  
_Honeymoon Avenue_  
_Baby, coastin' like crazy_  
_Can we get back to the way it was?_

* * *

_Please_, she thought.

She could see a reddish haze below.

She whispered, "I love you" to Percy. The last thing she wanted to tell him before she died.

* * *

_I feel like my heart is stuck in... traffic,_  
_I'm under..., pressure, pressure_  
_Let's just go back to the way it was_

* * *

Then she closed her eyes.

* * *

_When we were on..._  
_(Honeymoon Avenue, Honeymoon Avenue, Honeymoon Avenue, Honeymoon Avenue)_

_Let's just go back, back, back._


End file.
